I keep hearing about this Blackpool place and I finally got there on Friday 4th September! I flew there with my esteemed friend Lawrence.
Everybody was excited because they were turning the lights on. Apparently they throw a big party every time they turn the lights on in Blackpool! What a brilliant idea! I think I’ll throw a big party every night from now on when it’s time to flick the switches in my house, what a fantastic place Blackpool is:-) I have a feeling that there are lots of aliens living there too because the man who turned their lights on had a claw where you humans usually have hands.
Tim Burton (photo from Celebuzz)
The first thing I noticed when I landed my jet were the amazing rocks on the beach. I immediately picked one out for my ‘friend’ Hall, she had specifically asked me to bring her back some Blackpool rock and I understood why when I saw the array of pretty stones on the sea shore.
Unfortunately Lawrence insisted on going into a building where they were offering alcoholic refreshments when we arrived so we didn’t actually get to the show until eight pm. I missed the famous aliens with pointy heads by the name of Jedward!
Luckily we got there just in time to see my great friends, Toploader, although I was a bit confused because there wasn’t a washing machine in sight:! I am probably Toploader’s most famous fan. I’ve seen them live about eight hundred times!
Unfortunately I only recorded a snippet of a couple of their songs because I was afraid my battery would run out before the Vampires came on. I know a couple of young female humans who would never have forgiven me if I had let that happen!
You can also share in their new album according to this recent tweet:
We are super proud to announce that we are going to be making a brand new album and want you to come and share… http://fb.me/6Mb0JeNbP
OK I’m not just a pretty imp as you know and being a fast learner I had already worked out that they have some strange traditions in Blackpool but even I was not prepared for what happened next! In the middle of the show they brought out a University professor to give the audience a lecture!
I was intrigued by the interesting lecture by Professor Green, I think he must specialise in sleep disorders because he was telling us about how he had been tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep and finding it hard to switch off when his mind was working, he went on to say that he ponders on things he shouldn’t ponder on and how his train of thought’s wandering off the rails.
I was just thinking to myself how I could identify with what the eminent Professor was saying when I was totally shocked by the audience reaction! They actually started SINGING over him while he was speaking! Now you who know me well will know that I’m not one to conform but I was astounded to hear people drowning out the most interesting lecture by blatantly singing over that poor Professor! He was very professional and just carried on regardless but I have to say Blackpool audiences are extremely rude!
You can pre-order Professor Green’s autobiography here: bit.ly/PGLucky
Now I know Vampires are scary and coming from Grimney, I am quite used to coming face to bulging eye with horrific monsters, but even I was nervous when the ‘Vamps’ were introduced…………You would have been nervous too if you had heard the ear splitting screams let out by the terrified audience when the arrival of the ‘Vamps’ was announced!! Actually they didn’t look like vampires at all and they wore tops with ‘I Love Blackpool’ written on them (although I did become a little suspicious when the singer announced that he had never been to Blackpool before!)
I had an excellent view until some daft human teenager started holding a scarf up in front of me and waving it around!……thanks dear:-) I don’t even know why she even had a scarf, it wasn’t even cold, tch!
I did get quite a lot of footage of the Vamps (as per strict instructions from the young female humans I mentioned earlier) but due to the scarf waver I had to switch backwards and forwards between the stage and the large screen so they are a bit shaky in places:-) I was told by a close friend of Brad (lead singer) that their song ‘Somebody to you’ was written especially for the Great Gongleshanks:
I used to wanna be
Living like there’s only me
But now I spend my time
Thinking ’bout a way to get you off my mind
I used to be so tough
Never really gave enough
And then you caught my eye
Giving me the feeling of a lightning strike
I’m not too sure about the second verse though………
I used to ride around
I didn’t wanna settle down
But now I wake each day
Looking for a way that I can see your face
I’ve got your photograph
But baby I need more than that
I need to know your lips ……………..????
Nothing ever mattered to me more than this
Tou can hear the Vamps’ song – which was written for me – in the first video here:
I thoroughly enjoyed the show – at least the bits I managed to see thanks to my designer friend wanting to check out all the soft furnishings in the local establishments!……Tch! I’ve heard some excuses in my time……..!
After the show finished I was ready to go home but Lawrence wanted to check out more curtain material………at least I think that was what he was doing when he kept hanging from the curtains in every refreshment building we visited………
He annoyed me to be honest because as we strolled along the prom, prom, prom (sorry!) thousands of fans kept rushing up to me and saying ‘Can I have your autograph please?’ Before I had chance to reply, Lawrence kept jumping in with ‘Yes of course’ and grabbing their pens and posing for pictures with them. My fans looked quite bemused and disappointed as he grabbed my arm and rushed me away!
He also got on my nerves moaning about his hair getting blown out of place! I mean, he was walking around Blackpool with a Megastar and worrying about HIS hair, Tch!
When we arrived back at the ‘beach’ the following morning, guess what! My jet had vanished! Well, the tide doesn’t come in on my private island so how was I to know?…………..
It’s lucky that I have quite a large collection of private jets or I may have been upset:-)
http://www.toploaderofficial.com/ retrieved 2015-09-08
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/vamps/somebodytoyou.html retrieved 2015-9-9