Category Archives: Voice Box Promotions

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Hello folks!

Here is the eagerly awaited <snigger> second blog post from renowned author <more sniggering> Paul Davies. Enjoy:-)

 

Ah, that familiar repetitive question asked by so many excitable children on so many long journeys and listened to by so many loving parents all around the planet. Those four little words – cute and slightly amusing for the first ten minutes – that are guaranteed to eventually grate on your nerves and lead you to wonder if you could indeed get away with committing murder!

A lot of you good people out there, I would imagine, have no doubt encountered this situation and on reading this blog might even smile a little and whisper, “Yep, I’ve been there Mister Davies!”

There will also be a number of parents/guardians out there who have sons and daughters that have thankfully come of age and no longer travel with them on long journeys because: A) It’s uncool or B) They have their own cars.  For those people, the aforementioned, incredibly irritating, phrase ceases to be and at last, they can carry on with their lives in relative bliss. They can jump into their cars, smooth on their hessian-backed driving gloves, play the kick-ass tunes of Roger Whittaker to their hearts content and push the pedal to the metal, safe in the knowledge that the question – Are we there yet? – will no longer be asked of them. Hallelujah and rejoice for you all have served your time well. Live long and prosper!!

Now. To those readers who still have young children of speaking age and are in fact being subjected to this phrase, I will say this. Bear with it and put those murderous thoughts to the back of your mind because there will come a time when it will eventually end.  Like a hacking cough, a banging headache or an intimate rash, it will end …

… unless, of course, you’re me!!

Because folks, if you’re me – a man whom by rights should be way past having to hear that sort of mind-numbing repetition – you will continue to be subjected to the are we there yet? phenomena but on a much larger scale. Huge. A scale that is so intense, one can almost imagine taking one’s own life just to ease the assault on your senses.

And unfortunately – as if to compound the penance I must pay for whatever wrong I have done in life – I have not one but two sources from which this woeful pestering comes!

Is it from your own children? I hear you cry.

No dear friends, it is not, as my daughter now fits into example (A) shown above.

Conversely – which makes it slightly worse – the Japanese mind torture comes not from children, but from beings of the adult-ish variety!

The first offender – and on this occasion I shall not reveal the culprit’s name – normally appears late at night when I should be in the land of slumber, tap, tap, tapping away at my brain until I am worn down to a submissive pulp that will agree to anything; which is why I am now writing this blog!

Satisfied Imp?

The second culprit, who also believes that I have nothing better to do than sit around waiting for their demands, is my elderly neighbour, Norma.

Now, the very fact that I have used the term elderly might make you think that I’m a horrible person, rotten to the core, who should be ashamed of himself for not wanting to help the elderly in their time of need?

And to those who are harbouring that understandable thought in their minds, I say this … Sod off. You come spend a day at my home pretending to be me and see how you feel after the constant texts and phone calls asking: Are you busy? Are you busy? Are you busy?

This, I concede, is not proof of mental (and sometimes physical) persecution but over the next couple of blogs that I do for thelamaison, I will introduce you all more formerly to Norma the neighbour and tell of the tasks she has me doing on a regular basis; tasks, ladies and gentlemen that have almost driven me to the point of insanity and have me doing things like this:

So until next time readers, keep safe, be patient with your children, love the elderly and pray – to the almighty above – for the salvation of my mental stability.

 

Best wishes.

Paul.

Renowned author to write for our website

Hello all
I have been speaking to an International best selling author (his words, not mine!) and he has agreed to write some blog posts for our Internationally acclaimed website: thelamaison.co.uk  
Granted I did have to use thumb screws, eventually, when my magnetic charm failed to sway him, which leads me to believe that he is a machine; after all NOBODY has EVER failed to be lured by Gongle’s charismatic Megastar quality in the history of the Universe!
To be fair he is very busy writing best selling novels and riding up and down on his neighbour’s stairlift…
Anyway he said he’ll write posts whenever he gets the time – TCH! Anyone would think he’s a Megastar like me to hear him talk. Still he’s a pretty good writer – nowhere near as good as me of course but that goes without saying – so I’m looking forward to seeing what he comes up with.
So I suppose you’re wondering who this renowned author is?  Well, I’m wondering if I should tell you or not or if I should just leave you in suspense … which is his trademark incidentally!
Tell you what I’ll do, I’ll give you a few clues and you see if you can guess who it is, okay?
His Twitter handle (get me with all the modern talk) is @padavies_
He is the Author of novels: Letterbox, George: A Gentleman of the road, The Good in Mister Philips & Nobody Heard Me Cry, which are available from Amazon in paperback & on kindle and also available on http:// /http://mineeye.co.uk/    
Have you guessed who he is yet?
Seriously he IS an amazing writer. I have read a couple of his books and I am absolutely delighted that he is going to be contributing to our website!
Why not pop along and have a look at his website, where you could even buy one of his books just to convince yourself that Gongleshanks is ALWAYS right! Here is a link: padavies.co.uk 
I will obviously let you know when his … ahem … ‘masterpieces‘ appear on the website and <Gongle struggles to be humble> erm, thank you Monsieur Davies, we Grimniens are delighted that such an acclaimed writer has agreed to write for us:-)
As always, thank you to our followers for your continued support:-)

Love Gongle x

 

 

A Plea from the heart

Hello everyone.

It’s not often that ol’ Gongle gets annoyed but…………

I ordered a book 10 days ago from a book seller on Amazon and it still hasn’t arrived. Even though I’ve been pacing up and down waiting for the postman every day since I ordered it, only to see Mr Postie walking past my door and whistling happily – which leads me to believe he has pinched my book – this isn’t the reason I’m annoyed.

I was speaking to an author friend earlier today and happened to mention that I was still eagerly awaiting the arrival of my book. What she said to me left me in a state of shock!

She told me that she had just received a royalty payment of 35p from a ‘third party’ book seller on Amazon from a book with a retail price of £9.00. My friend is a bit of a joker so I initially thought she was having me on.

But then she went on to tell me that she once did a book signing for Waterstones and for every book sold on the day she received £1 and Waterstones received £3 but she had to wait SIX MONTHS for her payment!

I asked her what percentage she received from Amazon and she said that it ranges from £1 to £1.50. for a book with a retail price of £12.99!

Now call me naive – remember I’m not from your planet – I don’t know much about the business of selling books, it’s mainly Ursula who deals with our online book store, but I was totally shocked by my friend’s revelations. So, authors spend – I dread to think how many hours – writing, re-writing and editing their work and when the proud day arrives to showcase their best seller they receive a pittance whilst the owner of the store  gets rich?? I’m still reeling from this news to be honest!

I’ve been with VBL for over four years now and have always known that Grimnien’s vision was brilliant which is why I’ve stuck with him from the beginning, despite several setbacks with the streaming site. Before today however, I didn’t realise what an innovative idea this was! After speaking to my friend I can now clearly see why people would think that  http://mineeye.co.uk/   is too good to be true!

Granted, we are not Amazon, but From little acorns…………

The price for authors to join MineEye is currently $2.99 per annum and they get to keep every penny (cent) from their book sales! This seems very fair to me as it is the author  who has spent the hours slaving away over that novel, not us!

We are TRULY here to help you, NOT to rip you off!

Please, Please, Please, if you are an author, join MineEye and upload your books. Please, Please, Please tell all your author friends about us and help to spread the word.

Please, Please, Please, if you love to read books, buy your books from MineEye in the knowledge that every penny you spend will go to the author. I PROMISE you we DO NOT MAKE PROFITS, our charges are simply to cover running costs.

Please, Please, Please, tell all your friends to buy books from MineEye because without sales our authors will leave us and go back to advertising on sites where all their hard graft will go to fund lavish lifestyles for the sellers.

WE BELIEVE THAT AUTHORS SHOULD REAP THE BENEFITS OF THEIR HARD WORK!

I now realise that  http://mineeye.co.uk/  is the best thing since sliced bread!

If you have any questions about who we are and what we do please visit our website: thelamaison.co.uk

If you have specific questions about MineEye please contact:@UrsulaLygarlis

 

Love Gongle x

 

 

 

 

A little update

Hello everyone!

I thought I’d better have a little catch up with all the latest news. It’s been a busy year for us Grimniens so far. MineEye is taking off in spectacular fashion thanks to the magnanimous efforts of@UrsulaLygarlis @Book_Attic and @Grimnien

Their tireless promoting has ensured that our technical director, Robert has been kept busy and therefore out of trouble!James Clode

The delightful @aine425    has joined the writers at Celebrity VoiceBoxLive. We are very pleased to have Annie on the team! If you haven’t read it you can see her interview with   @JamesClode  here: … …

If you haven’t visited our website yet you can find links to all our various ventures and we now have an art gallery and a photography studio on there where all you budding artists and photographers can display your work, for free of course!  If you would like to send photos or artwork to be shown in the galleries please email a link to: Gongleshanks@hotmail.co.uk

The website can be found here: thelamaison.co.uk

We are now on facebook (Due to poular demand) Please come and ‘like’ our page:

Please continue to support us so that we can continue to support you!

More exciting things are in the pipeline I’m thinking of sendingVoiceBoxLive

@MortonBalthus 

in there to fetch them out, muwahahaha! so stay tuned for more news to come shortly.

 

As s always, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your continued support!

Love Megastar Gongle x

 

Happy New Year!

Yes I know it’s belated but A very Happy new year to all our followers, I can’t believe we’re still in January as so much has happened since Christmas!

Firstly our MineEye manager, Ursula  has been busy, not only has she created a newspaper which focuses mainly on book related matters but she has also set up a ‘promotional blog’ which links in directly to MineEye and helps to promote the authors’ books.

VoiceBoxLive

 

 

She might act daft on Twitter that Ursula but she’s actually quite compus mentus when it comes to promoting books!

 

https://ursulalygarlis.wordpress.com/2016/01/22/calling-all-authors/

Our unsung hero wizard, Rob is also doing a tremendous job under the weight of all the new books that keep arriving for him to work his magic on.

In case you haven’t seen it we also have a website now which links to all our various sites: http://www.thelamaison.co.uk/

On top of all that the ‘Grimnien’ team continues to tweet for all our creatives and are soon going to be promoting our venture outside of Twitter.

Kara has changed The VoiceBoxLive Chronicle – Paper.li to a weekly paper now in order to dedicate more time working ‘behind the scenes’

VoiceBoxLive

 

 

Oh when will the beautiful Kara agree to marry me!

 

 

 

We have lots of ‘best laid plans’ for 2016 so stay tuned! As always your continued support is very much appreciated!

Love Gongle x

 

Update on mineEye

Hi All

It’s been a busy few days since the launch of MineEye. Thank you to all the authors who have already uploaded books. For your information our fairies have been busy updating http://www.mineeye.co.uk/  The new dashboard gives every author full transparency of their sales orders and commissions earned. Also, it gives each of them a free “about the author” page that they can change at any time ! Pretty good huh?

Our slaves…..erm I mean…… elves have also added social icons to the bottom of the key pages e.g. books, so that when people go there or buy, they can share the links on social media…

MineEye

We are still offering free subscription and it is still free to upload your books but…….not for much longer. If you have a Kindle book ready to be published I would strongly advise you to get it on there now! Our shop window is filling up nicely and we already have several established authors signed up to the site which is very exciting!

We are delighted with the response so far and wish to extend a very warm welcome to our authors, George Henry, Theresa Snyder, Paul Morgan, Frederick Anderson, Diana Stevan, Michael J Synnott, Victoria Allred,  Cheryl Gross, Gavin Carter and James Henry Willard. Thank you for putting your trust in us, we hope to exceed your expectations:-)

If you would like to join our rather elite group of authors, it is easy to subscribe and add a book completely for free through the ‘Become an author’ page but if you have any questions  get in touch with Gavin or Robert:by email at either: gavin@mineeye.co.uk or robert@mineeye.co.uk

We look forward to welcoming you:-)

Love Gongle x

Guest blog from our dear friend Annie

Hear ye, hear ye, come one, come all…. It’s time for mystical excursion to begin.  It started with a dream… a fantasy really.  Escape to a kingdom that is only limited by your imagination, whose story is what you bring to it, as you interact with the different characters.  It is a collaborative effort of a literary unreality, shaped byits many citizens creating a bounty of beauty for the world to behold.  It is quite simply, the Land of Grimney, which brings about the feeling of a new renaissance in our sometimes bleak landscape we call earth.  Minstrels, troubadours, bards, poets, magicians, faeries, gypsies and wizards uniting to bring your fantasies to life, in a virtual world where everyone can partake in the mystery.  Visit as often as you’d like, partake in the revelry.  It is a simulated stage to realize all of the wonder of your aspirations while your fantasy takes shape.

 

Within this fantasy, an open platform is being created for all manners of magic and artistry to stream live in real time. This is “Voice Box Live”.  A place for music and art of all varieties to take center stage and perform to the twitter-verse.  It might be said that mere humans cannot comprehend a fantasy such as this, but perhaps we can.  All we need to do is follow our dreams and let the magic begin.

 

I give you this poem to start you on your way. The characters are purely magical and will help you on your journey through the illusions that await you.

 

It started with a dream

Of shiny things

Like diamonds in the night

Sparkling hither and yon

Ever so bright

 

Dearest Grimnian has spoken

Our minds will remain open

To Music, words and

Perhaps an artsy thing

Because Kara Janina knows the king

 

Morton Balthus he does slither

From the sea to say on Twitter

Please follow us

We’ll make a fuss

Come on now & please don’t dither

 

GarlanGlave  he was  a buzz

As the bees brought forth their honey

To the masses

This was money

From the knight he once was

 

WendelSparsett was the Mayor

Of the town of Dingle

He hid inside

With gold and such

His home it was a jingle

 

Now Gongle Shanks

Who walked on hands

And giggled at the lasses

Wee AnMarie, his girl of course

Ignored when he made passes

 

Young Meadow Dragon

Lost her heart

To every young squire singing

She ironed shirts near Dingle town

Her ears they must be ringing

 

A lovely little yellow lass

GarliTreome by name was she

Her heart was where

The moon beams glowed

Near the sea and Aphrodite

 

A handsome man

Named Simon Turkas

Who lived on Lanzarote

Drank coffee with the natives

And came to join this circus

 

The Miss UrsulaLygarlis

A sprite so charming she

Spread Enchantments

On the natives

And did this all for free

 

Killgin Stark the newest

To join this Grimney land

À votre santé

His tweets demand

Some wine from those he fosters

 

So welcome to Mine Eye

And Voice Box to be sure

All creatives

You should seek it out

It’s filled with such allure

 

 

Just open your mind for the Land of Grimney anticipates your fantasies…

 

And now I leave you with two videos.  The first is by Caitlin Grey titled “Siren’s Song” , the second is called “Inner Realms” by Richard Maddock.  These songsevoke a timeless feeling, harkening days gone by, as well as what is to come…. much like the Land of Grimney and soon to be seen Voce Box Promotions.

 

Siren’s Song ~ Caitlin Grey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2zghKIIQzM

 

Inner Realms ~ Richard Maddock

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl1Bi1OME-s

 

For now dear readers I bid you adieu.  Just remember this time it started with a dream… and surely you will smile in the Land of Grimney.

 

Annie

New Competition

Hello all

I have some exciting news! I will shortly be launching a new competition which will run for two months. If you fancy getting your hands on a grand prize of £40 (or equivalent in dollars)  which is being donated by the kindly wizard, Grimnien stay tuned!

The competition will work as follows:

I will set up a page on my blog entitled, ‘Make Gongle Laugh’ During May and June any tweets that make me laugh out loud will be added to the page.  The tweets will stay on the page throughout May and June, therefore all shortlisted entries will be winners because they should pick up new followers by being  highlighted on the great Gongle’s blog!

The competition will start shortly and end on the last day of June, then the writer of the funniest tweet will win 40 smackaroonies!! Grimnien will pay the money via Pay Pal, simples!

The competition will be advertised on several competition sites so it will hopefully create interest and bring in some new followers ready for the launch of ‘Voice Box Live’

It’s another genius idea by your friendly imp:-)

 

Love Gongle x

The Megastar and the weather girl Dedicated to Sian Lloyd

I’d love to take her out with me

But I doubt the lady will agree

You see I’m Gongle the Megastar

She’ll think it is a dream too far

 

Everyone wants a piece of me

Doubt she’ll cope with publicity

She’ll be too afraid to take my hand

Be seen with someone quite so grand

 

Of course her fears are quite unfounded

For a Megastar I’m quite well grounded

I’ll mix with anyone – even lowly folk

I’m out of her league but I’m a lovely bloke

 

She’d love to parade me round the town

See her friends with envious frowns

Yes I must admit I’m quite a catch

Look out men you’ve met your match!

 

So Sian Pluck up your courage dear

I’ll show you a good time, have no fear

Whisk you away in my private plane

To my island where it never rains

 

Most ladies would die for a chance like this

Put nerves aside for a taste of bliss

My culinary skills are famed world wide

Like my egg and chips with beans on the side

 

When you’ve dined in style fit for a queen

I’ll regale you with tales of the places I’ve been

Then I’ll show you all the awards I’ve won

I might even let you have a hold of one

 

I’ll introduce you to my staff

But pay no heed if they should laugh

For they’re used to meeting model types

Ignore their comments and their snipes

 

I’ll end the evening with a surprise

Sweet Sian you won’t believe your eyes

Not roses, they’re for men who’re meek

I will shower you with leeksJ         (see what I did there? Shower………weather girl)

Don’t think that you’re not good enough

I’m used to ladies who are rough

Who drink like fish and smoke like Chimneys

You should see what passes for lady in Grimney!

 

The only downside, after we’ve dated

When you get home you’ll feel deflated

Back to the grind of ‘spits and spots’

And men who pretend to think you’re hot

RETROBOT – a poem by Meadow

RETROBOT

I made a new friend on Twitter

His name is Retrobot

I don’t want to sound bitter but

My friend is a bit of a clot

 

He’s battery operated

And has been in a very deep sleep

So his ideas are slightly outdated and

He converses in boops and beeps

 

I think something happened to his brain

Whilst he slumbered away the years

For the little fellow’s quite insane

At least that’s how he appears

 

You see he has this ambition

To be top of the charts one day

Can’t wait for bot the musician

To get some radio play

 

But when he’s rich and famous

Will he remember me?

Or will he be an ignoramus

Believing his publicity?

 

I think that we should back my friend

And help him to reach the top

But if his record fails to trend

We’ll just unfollow the flop!