Tag Archives: Reading

FRIENDS

A wizard from another world

Came one day upon a girl

Waved his wand and twirled around

Then girl was boy but upside down

Wizard Grimnian said ‘Young man

Come with me I have a plan’

He gathered up Grimney residents

Then off to twitter land they went

That is how we came to be

Sending out your tweets for free

So here’s a little tale I’ve made

Of some friends with whom we’ve played:-

Poor Gongle’s head is in a spin

Caused by all this constant din

Endless chatter in twitter land

Confuses that inverted man

His colleague Helga’s quite a girl

Although her antics make toes curl

But Helga has a heart of gold

Kept in her cupboard so we’re told

She thinks Morton’s quite a catch

She’d love to slide him down her hatch

Morton’s the office clam you see

Helga fancies him for her tea

But Morton has another plan

He’d like to give her a wedding band

He loves the hair on Helga’s lip

And the way she swings her victims’ hips

Morton thinks he’s a real go getter

Riding round on his clambretta

With tentacles flying in the breeze

A clam with attitude? Wake me up please

Then there’s Wendel, he does his best

But his memory failure’s such a pest

He’s the Mayor of Dingle town

Comes to work in a dressing gown

Kara Jarina’s the office beauty

But all she thinks of is her duty

Gongleshanks just lives in hope

She’ll fall for him and they’ll elope

He has a lovely girlfriend, Ann

She finds it hard to understand

Why Gongle has a roving eye

To be her beau most men would die

He met a Texan girl called Jana

She makes pies out of bananas!

When she’s around he is a good boy

Since meeting her burly husband Roy

Then along came writer Geordie Taff

His funny tweets made Gongle laugh

Boy! Can that man tell a tale

His sense of humour’s off the scale

Sian Lloyd caught Gongle’s attention

When she gave the team a mention

Now she’s sponsor with a sunny smile

And has old Gongle quite beguiled

There’s also  sweet Deb Houdek Rule

Her hair is blonde but she’s no fool

No she’s not just a pretty face

She’ll soon put Gongle in his place

Shanks is a friend of Hall the toon

Hall likes to stir with wooden spoon

Gongle laughs at the cartoon’s capers

She’s a funny piece of paper

Author David E Manuel

Gets on with Gongle rather well

He even helped him with this verse

So you see it could be even worse!

Michael Hibbard’s an author too

Why he talks to Shanks I have no clue

He has studied physics the quantum kind

Maybe chats with Gongle help him unwind

A composer by the name of Richard Maddock

Calls when Gongle’s causing havoc

To tweet about his latest tunes

Shanks won his CD and is over the moon!

JP Lane now there’s a girl

She writes tales that make toes curl

Gongle teases her endlessly

But she’s a good sport thankfully

Tonia Allen Gould writes children’s books

She’d like to get Gongle in her hooks

Offered to wine and dine him in style

Another girl wants to get him up the aisle

Latest friend is Brandy Miller

Maybe she works for a distiller

Because she whispered in his ear

Brandy like liquor Miller like beer

Gongle loves his twitter friends

Despite the naughty tweets he sends

He hopes they’ll never go away

Because those tweeps they make his day

Please note: No clams were harmed during the making of this poem

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Gongleshanks review of The Slipkin Papers by Paul Morgan

Firstly I do not believe that this is a true story. Trust me on this, not being one to accept things at face value I did some research and quickly discovered some major flaws in the tale. For one thing there is not and never has been anyone by the name of Mr. Redhead working at London zoo. Neither could I find any evidence of a Mr Holyoak having blown himself up in a garden shed.

The text is scattered with such inaccuracies throughout and so for the purpose of this review I will have to assume that the account of Mr Slipkin is a fictional one.

I could not put this book down; I wish Helga Von Clapp would learn to replace the cap on the superglue.

We are all aware that there is a fine line between madness and genius but I can’t decide which side of the line Paul Morgan belongs. The subject matter is so surreal it couldn’t even fall into the category of ‘Pythonesque’ Indeed a brand new category would have to be invented for this book to be filed under….. Morganesque maybe?

I found the book to be very amusing from the off.. Here is an extract from chapter one to give you a flavour of the writing:

He had a heated argument with the lady at the ticket office at Pimlico Tube station about the rules concerning the use of the Underground by penguins. There weren’t any, so in the end after asking a few questions about the penguin’s likely age, she had given it a child’s ticket.

Despite being obviously barking mad the author has a great command of the English language and the book is well written and clearly well researched. Morgan has a gift for evoking clear pictures in the mind of the reader with his use of descriptive language:

Rolling thunderclouds had trundled in from the West, swallowing the sky, so that he felt like he was driving into an unmade bed.

He also has an eye for detail when observing the little idiosyncrasies that people have when speaking. Many of the ‘characters’ that Slipkin meets throughout his journey will be familiar to the reader and can easily be identified from their individual speech characteristics which have been captured magnificently by the author.

One slight criticism I have is that I found Churchill’s ‘Ahs’ and ‘Ums’ to be a little bit irritating after a while. For me they stopped the smooth flow of the text but that is just my personal opinion.

I don’t suppose The Slipkin Papers’ will suit everyone but it appealed to my quirky sense of humour. I found myself smiling and chuckling at regular intervals and occasionally laughing out loud. It is well written, quirky, fun and I highly recommend it.

Can I have my tenner now please Paul?