I told you recently that an International best selling author had agreed to write some guest posts for our website. I also told you that he was very busy and may not have time to write for a while so imagine my surprise when I received an introductory post from him two days later! Not only had he written the post for us but it was also his birthday! That’s dedication for you!
Alack and Alas (bit of the Bard there for you) I have been unable to publish said post due to ongoing technical problems with our website, so…….
When he saw the thumb screws in my hand Mr Davies agreed that I should post his scribblings on my website.
It’s not often that a writer goes to the trouble of describing what he is wearing whilst writing but this particular author is obviously a fashion icon as you will discover from his post so, without further ado (bit more Bard for you) grab yourself a coffee, settle back and enjoy the first guest blog from PA Davies:-)
It’s 8am on the morning of 24th October 2016, it’s my birthday and I am … oh, thank you … and I am … yes, I love you too, thank you … and, I am sitting here looking a little like death warmed up.
I am unshaven, unwashed and my attire consists of an ill-fitting brown t-shirt – the bright gold letters on the front proclaiming that I was indeed the Moustache Growing Champion of 2011 (see photo) …
… some incredibly old black shorts and a pair of fine and distinguished looking socks. Again, see the attached photo!
Yes, I’m aware that it’s some way off Christmas but that’s the way I roll people.
Hit the expectant person with the totally unexpected! … is what I always say.
Okay. In all honesty? I’ve never actually used that phrase before in my entire lifetime but you know what? I like it. I made it up and I like it and from here on in I’m gonna use it a lot more. After all that’s what authors do: They reheat, re-use and re-whatever other word starts with re and means, ‘to use again’.
Ah, but I digress and as such, am keeping myself from my fun-filled day of birthday celebrations and present opening – did I mention that it was my birthday today? I did? Okay, no matter.
Anyway, I will forge on and explain the reason for me writing this particular blog, a reason so bizarre and farfetched that even I – an internationally renowned author – struggled to believe it!
For the past few days I have been hounded, cajoled and threatened with horrendous acts of violence which – fearing for my personal safety – has left me with no option but to offer my services – for FREE – and write something for thelamaison.co.uk.
And whom or what has applied this constant pressure and left me with a sense of foreboding and a real fear that harm would be bestowed upon me if I didn’t comply? An IMP! Yes good citizens of the world, you read correctly. A bloody Imp!! An Imp by the name of GongleShanks to be more precise.
But does the craziness stop there?
No it does not!
I have since discovered that the entire entity of thelamaison.co.uk is in fact run (I can’t believe I am saying this) by a plethora of mythical creatures ranging from fairies to elves to some strange critter with tentacles. Oh, and to top it all off – God strike me down if I am lying – there is an actual stick-person involved as well that gives away twigs as gifts!
Now, from my involvement with this team of curious beings thus far, I have subsequently arrived at two conclusions.
I am dreaming the whole thing, am not actually writing this peculiar blog and will soon awaken from my slumber, laugh heartily and mildly chastise myself for eating cheese before bedtime.
On reaching the seasoned age of 52, I have in fact lost my mind, believe the existence of these beings to be true and will soon have people visiting my home saying there,there, whilst giving me medication and carting me off to a more suitable facility.
For now, however, I am going to believe that it is option one and will therefore continue to write for thelamaison simply because – being a dream and all – I can write what I want, safe in the knowledge that it will be brilliantly captivating and perfectly spell-checked. I can also believe that I am being paid thousands of Great British pounds for my time and will become world famous in no time at all … like I said, I’m running with the dream scenario here!
Okay. So now you know why I have agreed to write the occasional blog for thelamaison.
On a serious note though, I am feeling honoured to have been asked to write for them and would like to thank the team for their belief in my ability to write … as misguided as it is!
I hope that you will find my future blogs – which will encompass snippets of my life and indeed how I perceive some aspects of everyday life – entertaining if not a little thought provoking and I would welcome any comments you feel the urge to make. Please don’t be shy or scared. I’m very approachable; opinionated but approachable … Isn’t that right GongleShanks?
I also enjoy eating out, long walks in the countryside and I’m an absolute demon in the be … oops, my apologies folks. That’s for another site I’m writing on!
Alas, I must leave you all at this point as it would appear that there is some unexpected visitor knocking on my door!
Take good care of yourselves and others.